Psychotherapist and author of Ten in Zen, Ten times happier and now How to be your own therapistjoin our podcast to discuss work for yourself, change management and addressing your inner tone
Owen O’Kane believes wholeheartedly in the power of good therapy. As someone who has previously been the NHS Clinical Mental Health Director, and now works in private practice as well as writes and speaks publicly on the subject, he is well aware of the stress on the system and the need for more support for much more too. people.
That’s why the idea for his latest book How to be your own therapist came around. “It’s not a one-to-one therapy replacement,” he shares honestly. “But my argument is, if it makes someone start or help them understand who they are and on the road to recovery, then I’ve done my job.
“Very often a word, a line or a suggestion can sometimes make a huge difference in someone’s life,” he explains. “We think it should be complicated, but very often it is not. For example, in my line of work, I see people talking to themselves in a really cruel, harsh, regular way, and the only thing I reinforce a lot in my book is if you can help someone stop doing this, then their lives are transformed immeasurably. ”
“How are you talking to yourself?” I would really encourage anyone listening or reading today to really ask themselves this question. If you are not going to talk to another human being the way you are talking to yourself, then this is where you need to start.
“Allow yourself to be who you are and feel what you are feeling and then decide to say to yourself ‘I will take care of you, that’s fine.’ I have you”. “When you start making those adjustments, it’s a game change.”
“In psychology, we often talk about anxiety, depression and trauma, but something we probably do not talk about enough are adaptation disorders, which are often associated with changes in life. And of course, adjustment disorders will manifest as anxiety, mood swings or people may develop behaviors that are perhaps a little more obsessive or commonplace.
“It can happen to people in different ways. And I think as human beings, many of us are prone to predictability. If you look at a definition of anxiety, it is an intolerance to insecurity. So basically we, as human beings, tend not to tolerate insecurity very well.
“Very often we want life to go in a special way and we have an idea of what life should be like. However, life often gives a complete opposite of what we want and for me, psychological well-being has to do with the way we navigate that middle ground. And it has to do with psychological flexibility, because the more tolerant you become and the more you can walk through life as it is not as you think it should be, this is one of the cornerstones for good psychological health. “The more we fight life and work against it, the more we fight.”
You can order the Owen Book How to be your own therapist now
Check out Owen TedX’s extraordinary conversation – Bombs, bullets, teasing and a piano.
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