Debate Rages Over How to Split $3,655 Vacation Home in ‘Throuple’ Situation

A woman asking the correct way to split the cost of a vacation home with her husband and friend has split views on Mumsnet.

In a post to the Am I Being Unreasonable? (AIBU) forum, user CanStopWillStop explained that she and her husband have booked a vacation with a single friend. They will be staying in a two-bedroom apartment for £3,000 ($3,655) and splitting the cost three ways—£1,000 (roughly $1,200) each.

However, another friend told CanStopWillStop that the deal is unfair, and that the friend should be footing half of the bill, not a third.

“She was shocked and thought it should be split per room, so £1500 ($1,800),” she wrote.

“Is it not the most obvious split 3 ways? I would feel weird asking her to pay more just because she doesn’t have a partner to split costs with.

“For the record, I don’t intend to try and change the split, just curious what others would have done in this ‘throuple’ situation?”

What’s a ‘Fair’ Way to Divide Costs Among Friends?

Whether it’s splitting the bill at a restaurant or a vacation rental, it can be tough to know the “right” way to split costs among friends—especially without causing drama.

Psychotherapist Jack Hazan, based in New York City, said what’s reasonable depends on the friendship group and situation.

“‘Fair’ is the middle point between two or more friends,” he told Newsweek. “It’s a balancing act, like compromising, but on a different level.”

Hazan said friendship should be a two-way street, but most cost-splitting dilemmas can be solved through communication.

“If something is bothering you, don’t avoid the situation,” he said. “For example, if they want that $250+ bottle of wine (or any other luxury that might be unattainable for you), tell them that you won’t partake. True friends won’t chastise you for your decision.”

Do you have a monetary dilemma? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.

What Mumsnet Users Thought

Some users thought asking a single friend to pay half of the bill was unreasonable, with Chargingplace calling the current arrangement: “Completely fair.”

“I’d split per person as you’ve suggested, why should a solo person pay more than each of you individually just because you happen to be a couple?” they wrote.

“You can’t ask a single friend to pay half the cost, so she’d be paying £1,500 and you and your partner pay £750 each!” agreed JeepersCreepersWheredYaGetThosePeepers.

“Can’t understand why you would split by rooms unless you don’t like the person you’re travelling with,” commented Tinkeytonkoldfruit.

“It would be unfair to split per room, because in your room there are two of you using everything else in the apartment,” said airfryerandelectricblanket.

Others disagreed, with JudgeRudy writing: “As the single friend, I’d have expected to pay a half.”

“I’d have thought you pay per room, not per person, like in a hotel,” agreed Tangerinie.

“Unless the room you and your DH [dear husband] are in has an ensuite, I would be splitting it per room too,” commented ChellyT.

However, one user didn’t have an opinion, and just took issue with the term “throuple” to describe their friendship.

“Unless you are in a polyamorous relationship I would not be using the word throuple,” said bridgetreilly. “Actually, I wouldn’t use it anyway because it’s such an ugly word.”

Newsweek was not able to verify the details of the case.